alias
by Tiny Otaku
Summary: Lavi, The 49th alias, is struggling with reality. Past thoughts and personalities are coming back to haunt him, but can he tell the difference between reality and memories? Set after the ark story. Laven later. DISCONTINUED due to bad writing/planning.
1. Chapter 1

**YAY! NEW STORY!**

**For all of you that read my other story 'red' you might be a bit dissapointed due to the lack of blatant romance in the first chapter, but i hope you like it anyway.**

**This story was written after i watched the episode of the anime where lavi is trapped in rhoads dream world and the setting is just after the ark story.**

**Lenalee in this fic has her old badass personality (i hate her new one) so she's doesn't have the same personality that she has in the recent chapters/episodes.**

**ENJOY!**

* * *

Scritch scratch

_Scritch_

_Scritch scratch_

The pen glided flawlessly across the page, leaving an elegant black trail behind it. The delicate string flowed into letters, then words, before becoming history.

Lavi followed the trail, lovingly inscribing each date, each memory, into the paper for future generations.

_1998 fall of the northern army._

_1998 destruction of the seventh wall._

"That's wrong."

Lavi turned in his chair, leaning on the back for support, and raised his eyebrow.

"You can't even see the page."

The other boy grinned.

"But _you_ can and that's all I need."

Lavi scowled at him. _Cocky brat_.

"Fine, what is it this time?"

"The fall of the northern army was in 1999, not 1998."

Lavi clenched his fists and scrawled the correct date, fighting the urge to throw something at the red head behind him.

A small delicate hand rested on his own. Lavi looked up a young red haired boy at his side.

"It's okay Lavi, be calm and keep going. Record this so people can learn from the past. That's your job remember?"

Lavi gritted his teeth and shook off the hand, returning his gaze and attention to his work.

"Leave him be 1st. All he cares about is his _friends_." The boy at his bed said, disgust layering his voice.

1st cast a warning look in the other boy's direction.

"Leave him alone Dick."

Dick ignored him and continued the onslaught.

"Allen Walker hm? _That_ was a good choice, seeing as how significant he is in all of this. And Lenalee as well to some extent. But the rest? Kuro-chan for example. And Kanda?"

Lavi's hand tightened around the pen but still dick went on.

"In a year or so, the time will come to cast off Lavi and become a new person, you've been here for nearly 4 years. What will those _friends_ of yours do then hm? Once you've cast them off with your guise?"

_Snap_. Ink spilled from the broken shaft of the pen, ruining the record that Lavi had almost finished.

"Shut up Dick." He said, his voice low and dangerous.

"You know it's true don't you? What did you think you were doing? Making such permanent bonds with useless people, you should be ashamed to call yourself a bookman."

1st looked frantically between the two, looking for a way to curb the rising tension in the room.

"Please Dick! Just stop!" he cried.

The boy rolled his eyes and relaxed against the bed head.

"Ugh, you're too soft 1st. He knows I'm right. Aren't I Lavi?"

Lavi was silent, his head bowed as if he were trying to deflect Dick's words.

Dick smirked and crossed the room to Lavi's side.

"Trying to be tough huh? Or are you trying to keep it down so that your _friends_ don't think you're crazy?"

Lavi stood up sharply, knocking his chair into Dick who jumped away just in time to avoid any injuries.

"Shut up." He growled.

Dick raised an eyebrow, a smug smile corrupting his features.

"Don't talk to me like Lavi, we're family remember?"

"I'm not related to you."

"You ARE me."

That was the final straw. Lavi tore open the door to his room and dashed out into the corridor, eyes screwed shut as he pounded down the ancient stone walkway, trying desperately to ignore the thoughts swirling around his head.

* * *

Allen and Lenalee walked through the cavernous stone chambers, their laughter echoing around the order, brightening it by even a fraction.

"He actually said that?" Lenalee said, trying to maintain a check on her laughter.

"Yeah! The poor guy didn't even know what had happened until he let the rope go." Allen was slightly more composed, but a chuckle escaped his lips as he reminisced about the more light hearted events of his past. "What about you Lenalee, don't you have any funny stories from your childhood?"

Lenalee paused for a moment and stared up at the roof, deep in thought.

Well, I don't know . . . Ah! There was this one time when-"

Suddenly, Lavi came tearing down the hall, almost knocking over Allen in his hurry.

"H-hey! Lavi!" Allen shouted indignantly.

But the read haired boy didn't even pause, instead speeding up fractionally and disappearing into the stairwell, leaving his very confused friends in his wake. Allen was the first to speak.

"Was he . . . crying?" he asked to no-one in particular.

Lenalee just stood there blinking stupidly into space. After a moment or two, surprise gave way to concern and she tugged on Allen's sleave.

"Let's go see if he's okay."

Allen snapped out of his daze, nodding gravely as they quickened their pace, heading in the direction they had last seen the bookman.

* * *

Lavi leaned against the wall, clutching at the stitch in his side as he caught his breath.

_Shit._

He kicked himself mentally. He'd been so caught up with dick that he hadn't seen or heard Allen and Lenalee coming from the kitchen and they'd seen him. That was stupid, now they'd be worried, start asking questions that he couldn't answer.

"I think you mean _wouldn't_ Lavi chan."

Lavi cursed under his breath and turned to Dick, who was now sitting on a table, scanning a book with a bored expression on his face. He looked up to meet Lavi's gaze, a smug expression across his features.

"That was pretty stupid of you to try and run you know. How did you think you were going to get away from me?" He placed the book down on the table and crossed the room to join the red head, crouching before him and patting him on the shoulder. "You can't escape your own mind Lavi."

The older bookman gritted his teeth and clenched his fists.

"Get away from me." He said in a fierce whisper.

"What?" said a familiar voice.

Lavi's head snapped around and he found himself staring into Allen's innocent blue grey eyes. He had been so caught up with dick he hadn't noticed him enter. Lavi looked back at the other red head, who smiled and faded.

Lavi returned his attention to his friend.

"Ah, Allen! I-I . . . I didn't see you there."

Allen looked concerned and confused, unconvinced by Lavi's weak cover up.

"Who were you talking to?"

Lavi winced, he had hoped the cursed boy wouldn't notice, but he was unusually perceptive today.

"Ah, nothing. Just thinking out loud." He quickly put up a bright smile. "Don't worry about me."

Allen grimaced, the lie was an obvious one, but Lavi desperately hoped that he would accept it and go away. The white haired boy crouched down in front of him so that their eyes were level. _So much for that_ the redhead thought bitterly.

"Lavi, you can tell me." Allen rested a hand on his shoulder and smiled reassuringly. "Don't hold it back."

"Yeah Lavi, you can tell him."

Lavi cursed internally as He heard dick's voice and looked up to see him just behind Allen.

"Tell him how you use people to gain information and toss them aside like ragdolls once they have no more historical significance. How, after every log, you cast off your personality and start a new one. And then, tell him how you're going to do that to _him_."

Lavi growled, a low rumble deep in his throat, but Dick merely smiled and stood up.

"You can't do it can you? I don't see why not. _We_ could all do it." At this, he swept his hand across the previously empty room that was now full of redheads of varying ages, but all had the same features.

"1st, Otto, Ryan, Chris, Rory, Matthew, peter, David, George, Ron" Dick began counting off names on his fingers as the bookman in question stepped forward and faded.

"Wait, please. . ." Lavi tried feebly to stop him as he listed the names of his previous aliases.

"Joel, Andrew, tom, timothy, Ben, Jeremy, Harry, Mike, Brian, Niall"

"Stop, Stop it!" Lavi curled into a protective ball and covered his ears.

"Mark, Viktor, Adam, Kenji, nick, Seb, Joshua, Edward, Yali,"

Lavi dug his nails into the palms of his hands until blood crept down his skin, hoping the pain would distract him.

"Kevin, Frank, Dick and _Lavi . . ._" dick trailed off, enjoying the look on his counterparts face. The room was once again empty aside from the two of them.

He crossed the room again and crouched before Lavi, leaning forward so that there was barely a centimetre between their faces. The sadistic boy studied his face briefly, before smirking and leaning forward a bit more so that he could whisper into the other teen's ear.

"What shall we call the next one hm?"

With an angry cry, Lavi threw himself forward, knocking dick to the floor so that he was straddling him, his hands firmly around his neck. Dick was surprised, but shock gave way to another sadistic smirk as tears spilled down the other boy's cheek and plopped onto his shirt.

"You wouldn't kill me Lavi. I AM you remember? That'd be like sui-" Dick was cut off as the hands around his neck tightened, cutting off his air supply.

"La . . . vi." he managed to choke out. "La . . . vi, please . . . stop."

"LAVI!" A shrill scream cut the air and Lavi whipped his head around. Lenalee was standing in the door way her onyx eyes wide with fear and horror as she stared at him.

"Lavi, what's wrong with you!?"

He looked down at Dick, only instead of seeing himself from three years ago, he now held a white haired boy of fifteen.

"Lavi . . ." Allen choked out again, before his arm thudded to the floor and his eyes slowly shut.

* * *

**Lavi choked Allen!? OMIGOSH! anyway, hope that chapter was satisfactory.**

**I'm not posting the next chapter till i get at least 6 reviews, be it good or bad ones. So if you just feel like flaming me because i spelt Lavi with a lower case 'L' then go ahead. :)**

**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Don't own DGM, but do own YOUR SOULS! -stoned by angry readers-**

**you can have them back if you like . . .**

* * *

He looked down at Deke, only instead of seeing himself from three years ago, he now held a white haired boy of fifteen.

"_Lavi . . ." Allen choked out again, before his arm thudded to the floor and his eyes slowly shut._

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Lavi shrank back, horrified as he realised what he'd done. He stared down at his shaking hands.

He had tried to kill Allen.

He let out a cry that chilled those in earshot to the bone and tore out of the library, ignoring Lenalee's protests as she tried to revive Allen.

As he skidded around the corner into the hallway, he heard her shrieking at him to come back but he ignored her, dashing down the stairs two at a time.

_Shit, shit, shit, shit._ Lavi cursed at himself over and over, tearing through corridors, past confused finders and dodging concerned exorcists as he tried to organise his swirling thoughts.

Suddenly, a hand caught the back of his shirt and he was pulled off balance, crashing to the floor. He looked groggily up at his assailant and tried to focus on the hazy figure above.

Kanda glared down at him.

"Baka usagi. What the hell are you doing making so much noise in the hallway?"

"Y-Yuu . . ." Lavi said, still recovering from his fall. Kanda gritted his teeth and clenched his fists.

"I said not to call me by my first name!" he snapped. "Che, you're more irritating than baka moyashi."

Lavi's reaction was instant. He lurched to his feet, staggering slightly as he lost his balance. Concerned (although he would never admit it), Kanda stepped forward, reaching out a hand to touch his back lightly in case he fell again.

"NO!" Lavi threw himself away from the black haired man. "Don't touch me." He wheezed, leaning on the wall for support.

"Lavi, what the hell is going on?" Kanda said, more than a bit weirded out by the recent turn of events. Usually, he couldn't get the stupid moron off him, something was wrong.

"Just get the HELL away from me!" Lavi bolted away in the opposite direction, feet thudding across the cobblestone floors as Kanda stared, dumbfounded, at his receding figure.

* * *

"_Lavi. . ." the light was fading fast, blackness creeping in at the edges of his vision as he ran out of air. The look on his friends face was terrible, filled with pure hatred and loathing. The last look he wanted to see on his friend's face, especially when it was directed at him._

"_Lavi!" he heard Lenalee's screech but it sounded distant, barely audible above the beating of his own heart. Lavi looked around at Lenalee, not lessening the pressure on his neck. When he looked back, his face was filled with surprise._

"_Lavi . . ." Allen choked out, before he was pitched into darkness._

Allen woke to soft sheet and a throbbing pain in his head and neck. He saw Lenalee's back and tried to call out, only to discover that it hurt to talk.

How did he get here? Lavi had attacked him. Why? Where was he? Was he alright?

Questions and stray thoughts alike raced through his mind, transforming into a menacing swirling mass that intensified the pain in his head, making him groan out loud.

Lenalee realised he was awake and spun around, revealing Kanda and Johnny behind her.

"Allen! You're awake!" she smiled brightly at him, Johnny joined her and Kanda huffed a congratulations. Allen could see they were trying, but their guise was a thin one.

"Where's Lavi?" he rasped, getting straight to the point.

Lenalee grimaced and glanced at her companions who shook their heads. Sighing, she turned back to Allen.

"Everyone's been looking for him, but there's been no trace of him yet." She smiled encouragingly. "We'll find him though, don't worry."

Allen tried to sit up, only to have a sharp pain rip through his neck, making him gasp in pain.

"Stop wriggling moyashi." Kanda scolded him, hands on his hips as he surveyed the boy critically.

Allen glared through the pain that was clouding his vision.

"It's Allen, bakanda!" He snapped, before trying again to pull himself from the bed.

"Allen stop!" Lenalee tried to pry his hand from the railing, but he held fast, ignoring her. "What are you doing?!"

"I have to go and find him." Allen muttered. "Find out what's wrong with him."

"What?! No! He might attack you again!" She pushed him back onto the pillows and held him there as he squirmed.

"But I-"

"Allen, please." The boy stopped when he heard her voice. It had changed, no longer commanding and confident, but sad, almost begging.

"Lenalee?" He asked, concerned.

"Please Allen, I-I don't ever want to see you like that again." She sniffed back her tears and released one of his arms to wipe her eyes on her sleeve. "Y-you weren't. . . you weren't breathing and I though- I-I thought you wouldn't wake up. . ." She looked up again, swallowing her remaining tears.

"Never do that again." She said, almost a whisper.

Allen nodded hesitantly and relaxed against the pillows.

"I'm sorry Lenalee."

"It's fine, just stay here."

Allen nodded meekly and she smiled.

"But only on one condition." Kanda rolled his eyes and Lenalee looked curious.

"What is it?" she asked.

He grinned. "Find Lavi and bring him back safely."

Lenalee blinked, she hadn't been expecting that, but she nodded anyway.

"Of course."

* * *

Lavi sat, slumped against a tree, trying to ignore the two pairs of legs hanging beside him on the tree branch and the conversation they were having.

"Deke did a pretty good job back there huh?"

"You think? Personally, I think it's irresponsible; he shouldn't go provoking Lavi when it could endanger our position. We're very lucky to have such close contact with people that have this big an effect on history."

The other boy pouted.

"Aww, you're no fun Joel."

"I don't have to be _fun_, my job is to be a bookman and record history, not goof off like you always seem to do Niall."

His companion smirked.

"See? That's the reason your log failed. You have to be more open and inviting otherwise you won't be able to get close enough to learn anything. Lavi could teach you a thing or two, he's got it down to an art."

The teen in question didn't move but rather turned his head a little farther from the pair. Joel raised an eyebrow in his direction as Niall slipped from his perch and thudded to the packed earth beside his older counterpart. The boy kneeled beside Lavi, peering up into his downcast eyes.

"Aww cheer up Lavs, it's not like those exorcists matter or anything." The boy smiled, ignoring Lavi's cringe. "They're just data remember?"

"Go away Niall." His voice was flat and emotionless as he got to his feet and turned away, trying to ignore the pestering 9 year old.

"Let him be Niall, he's just moaning over what he did to his _friend_." Lavi groaned and looked up into the soaring tree branches where Deke was hanging upside down, his legs hooked over the branch as he sneered down at them.

"Or could it be that he's _more_ than a friend now?" The cool words froze Lavi's heart and he stopped dead.

"Hm? What's with that reaction? Could it be that I'm right? That you've become _attached_ to the _subject_?" his grin widened, spreading to cover his whole face in half. "Ooh, bad Lavi, we can't have _romance_ now can we?"

Lavi spun around, a scathing retort on his lips, but he was faced with an empty meadow, once again alone. Thinking about deke's words, Lavi bit his lip and ran from the clearing.

* * *

**I am so sorry you guys.**

**I meant to post this chapter much earlier then this i swear, but the sydney anime festival is in 2 days and i had to finish my allen walker costume. The next chapter will probably not be done until monday either because I'm out for the entire weekend. I'm so sorry!**

**READ AND REVIEW!**

**thank you and sorry again!**

**-Tiny**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm so sorry!!**

**This chapter should've been done so much quicker but i had writers black and couldn't form sentances properly - sweatdrop-**

**Anyway, hope you guys don't hate me for dragging this out -- There's only about two chapters left to write and I'll try my hardest to get them done soon!**

**Btw, I changed the last chapter a bit at the suggestion of a friend. Rhoad is no longer a part of the story anymore. Just forget she was EVER there!**

**SORRY!**

* * *

The matron glanced briefly around at her sleeping patients, walking briskly down the aisle and throwing glances at the odd chart, jotting notes down on her clipboard

The matron glanced briefly around at her sleeping patients, walking briskly down the aisle and throwing glances at the odd chart as she jotted notes down on her clipboard. When she arrived at the big double doors at the end of the cavernous hall, she cast a final glance back over the room's occupants before softly pulling the door shut behind her, the click clack of her highly polished heels fading away into the dark.

The soft breathing of the patients echoed around the hall for another few moments, before they were interrupted by the heavy thud of combat boots along the floor. A figure wrapped in shadows paused at the end of one of the last beds, stiffening as they recognised the sleeping form. The mysterious visitor stepped from the shadows into the soft moonlight, revealing unruly red hair and a weary green eye.

Lavi sat at the bedside and lifted a hand to stroke Allen's cheek, pained affection in his eye as the boy smiled and snuggled up to the hand in his sleep.

"I'm sorry Allen," Lavi whispered, his voice cracking, "I'm so sorry." A single tear escaped his eye and rolled down his face, landing with a soft plop on Allen's cheek. The boy stirred, his eyes fluttering open lazily as the liquid crawled down his skin. Allen sat up, looking around the room. It was empty except for the sleeping patients. He lifted a hand to his face, wiping away the tear in confusion. Had he been crying in his sleep?

To his surprise, Allen felt tears welling up in his eyes. What was wrong with him? He shouldn't be crying over nothing. His attempts to hold back were futile as the dam broke and tears began to pour down his face, dampening the collar of his pale blue hospital shirt.

_Lavi, where did you go?_

* * *

"Fuck! What the hell was I thinking!?"

Lavi paced the clearing, tearing at his hair in frustration. Trying to vent his anger, he whipped his hammer from his belt and smashed it into a tree with a strangled yell.

"What the fuck is wrong with me!?"

The hammer tumbled to the ground as Lavi thudded to his knees and rested his forehead against the rough wood of the tree trunk, allowing the tears to flow freely.

"Lavi." 1st kneeled beside the redhead, placing his hand on his shoulder reassuringly.

"Go away." Lavi mumbled, too worn out to offer much resistance. 1st frowned, concern lighting his single green eye in the darkness.

"Lavi, please. Just forget him, that boy is hurting you."

"He already knows that 1st." Deke was lying lazily in the lower branches of the tree, gazing up at the night sky. "He doesn't care about being a bookman any more. He isn't even a real person and he still thinks he can abandon his duties for _love_."

"Don't say that Deke, he is a real person." 1st replied calmly.

"Oh, a _real person_ is he?" Deke sneered. "A _real person_ doesn't have to lie about everything he does. A _real person_ feels pain when they leave their friends. A _real person_ doesn't have to fake every smile, every laugh, every goddamn tear!" With the last word, Deke appeared behind Lavi, hauling him to his feet and wrenching him around until their faces were inches apart. 1st had disappeared.

"Allen doesn't love you _baka_. He loves the idea of you, he doesn't even know who you- who _we_ are." He hissed cruelly. "You'll never be able to have a true relationship because there will be things that you can never tell him. Secrets that will corrode your relationship down to nothing."

"I'll tell him everything." Lavi said defiantly, but winced as Deke laughed at him.

"Will you really? Will you tell him then, about the time in your fifth log," Deke's face morphed, becoming younger until it showed the face of his 8 year old self, "the time when you watched as 4 young children were slaughtered for no reason and you did nothing to stop it because it was _history_. What do you think Allen would say to that?"

"Please, just stop. . ." Lavi mumbled softly, tears beginning to slip down his face. "Just leave me alone."

To his surprise, Deke's features softened into a pitying look and he wrapped his arms around the older boy.

"Just forget him Lavi, someone like you can never have something like him." He crooned, stroking Lavi's swirling red hair. "Come with me and the others, we'll keep you safe. We care about you. We're your family."

Lavi glancing longingly back at the tower for a moment, before turning back to face Deke, and nodding solemnly. Deke grinned mischievously and whistled, making a black void open up in the middle of the glade. Taking the exorcists hand, he led him into the darkness, the entrance closing fast behind them.

* * *

Allen stumbled through the woods.

The darkened hall of the infirmary had been suffocating and his chest had been screaming at him for fresh air so in the end he had decided to take a walk.

However, walking through thick forest in pitch black was not a good idea and more than a few times, Allen tripped and stumbled over uncovered roots and rough stones.

_This was not a good idea_ the boy thought grimly as he looked around trying to get a feel for where he was. He was tired and hungry and just wanted to get back to the order. Sighing heavily, he pushed his way through a bush into a clearing where something caught his eye.

"Lavi!" he gasped and ran into the centre of the clearing, dropping to his knees beside the redhead. He was sprawled face down on the dry earth, seemingly dead.

"Lavi!!" he yelled again, rolling the older boy onto his back and feeling for a pulse. He found one quickly and breathed a sigh of relief as he felt the bookman's breath tickling his skin. And yet something was wrong.

Allen leaned over Lavi, placing both his hands on his shoulders and shaking him, trying to wake him up.

"Lavi? Come on Lavi wake up." He frowned, fear gnawing away at him. "Lavi?"

* * *

**Hehehe, It's only 1000 words. Sorry you guys! I promise the next one will be better.**

**I'm also working on 'winning the prize' because i seem to have more inspiration for that one so i apologise again for the slow updates.**

**reviews make crying babies smile!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm sorry!**

**This chapter is SOOOOOOOOO late, but I had lots of neglected assesments that i had to do.**

**It hasn't been proof read either, so any mistakes can be noted in a review or PM. I wanted to get it out ASAP. Enjoy!**

* * *

Delicate feet ran lightly down the winding stone steps, taking them two at a time as smooth hands grasped at the banister, trying to stop the feet from tripping up as they hurried through the echoing halls

Delicate feet ran lightly down the winding stone steps, taking them two at a time as smooth hands grasped at the banister, trying to stop the feet from tripping up as they hurried through the echoing halls. Lenalee slipped through the darkened corridors, onyx eyes darting from side to side nervously as every step seemed a thousand times louder in the dead silence. She stopped outside the cafeteria, quickly glancing up and down the hall, before easing the door open and dashing inside.

Unfortunately, she didn't think to look inside the room she was entering.

"Ow! Who the hell- Lenalee?"

The Chinese girl looked up, grimacing in pain as she rubbed her throbbing head. Kanda was slumped against a table in front of her, holding his chest where she had run into him.

"K-Kanda! What are you doing here?"

"What do you think? I'm getting a drink!"

Lenalee frowned and pulled herself to her feet.

"Okay, okay, I get it." She mumbled, straightening out her night dress. "I guess you can't sleep either?"

Kanda rolled his eyes at her. "Nah, you think?"

"I take it you're worried about Lavi too then?"

Kanda stiffened and scowled.

"No! What makes you think that?!"

Now it was her turn to roll her eyes. Kanda was definitely not good at hiding his intentions.

"Fine then, let's just get a drink and be done with it then shall we?"

Kanda muttered an agreement and they crossed the cafeteria in silence, both of them cursing their timing.

Lenalee reached up for a glass, standing on the tips of her toes as she cursed the person who had designed the kitchen. Finally, she dragged one victoriously from its perch and filled it to the brim, sitting up on the bench top as she sipped the water.

"So what's bothering you Kanda?" she asked, peering through her lashes at the silent samurai. He looked away, hiding his eyes behind his fringe.

"Nothings bothering me." He mumbled.

The Chinese girl raised an eyebrow at him. "Of course."

He glared at her, his frosty stare boring into her.

"I said nothings bothering m-"

He was cut off as a finder threw open the cafeteria door and ran inside, looking around wildly. Catching sight of them, he beckoned for them to follow him.

"Exorcist sama! Come quickly!"

Frowning, Lenalee and Kanda ran after the finder.

"What is it?"

"Go up to the front gate, Komui wants you two up there now." The young finder turned to leave, but Lenalee caught his arm, spinning him around to face her.

"Why? What's going on up there?"

The finder swallowed nervously, tugging at his collar.

"Allen Walker was found outside the gate with Lavi Bookman. Komui said you two had to go up immediately."

Lenalee traded a quick look with Kanda before launching herself up the closest staircase, her heart pounding in time with her feet as she heard her companion close behind.

"That stupid moyashi! He's supposed to be in hospital!" Kanda growled.

Lenalee made no response other than to grimace and speed up fractionally, cursing her lack of innocence at a time when speed was so crucial.

They rounded the corner, exiting the staircase on the ground floor without slowing even a fraction as they tore down the corridor side by side, reaching the grand entrance in less than a minute. The pair stumbled to a halt at the doorway to the entrance hall, gasping for breath as they peered inside.

Allen stood with Komui and a trio of finders, pointing in the direction of the woods as he argued with his companions. He caught sight of them and waved, motioning for them to come over.

"Allen! What's going on!?" Lenalee jogged lightly to his side, looking concerned. "Are you all right? You should be in bed!"

The younger boy rolled his eyes. "I'm fine Lenalee!" he said in exasperation. "I don't need any help. But Lavi-"

He broke off, biting his lip as he looked away.

"Allen?" Lenalee asked gently, "Allen what is it?"

The boy took a deep breath and looked up at her.

"Lavi, he's in a coma." His eyes were wide and fearful, tugging at the Chinese girl's heart. "I don't know if he's going to wake up. . ."

The girl pulled him into a tight hug, stroking his pale hair soothingly.

"It's okay Allen, he'll be fine. I know he will." Her words sounded unconvincing even to her, and a seed of doubt planted itself firmly in her mind, slowly spreading. Finally, she pulled away, smiling gently at him.

"Let's go see him shall we?" she smiled again, wider this time, as Allen nodded and they set off down the hall after Lenalee convinced her brother to let Allen take a break.

They reached the infirmary at last and Kanda pushed the door open, admitting his smaller companions. Lavi lay on a bed, serene and peaceful, breathing steadily. If it weren't for his deathly complexion, Lenalee would have sworn he was just asleep. His red hair framed hi face, making him look like some kind of fiery angel. Allen made a choking sound and ran to his side, grabbing his hand as if he was trying to pull him back to consciousness.

"Lavi? Lavi!" he said desperately. "Lavi, please wake up!"

Lenalee laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder as he bowed his head, pulling Lavi's hand to his heart and holding it there.

"Lenalee." Kanda put his hand over hers, giving her a warning glance. "We should go."

She cast a final concerned look at Allen's bowed head, before nodding and allowing herself to be steered from the room.

The door slid slowly shut behind them, leaving Allen alone in the room with Lavi's unconscious form. The boy pulled up a chair, sitting beside his friend as he gazed longingly at the boy's eyes. He slowly reached out, pushing a lock of hair from his face. Allen frowned, this wasn't Lavi. Lavi's hair was messy and wild. Growling slightly, Allen ruffled the older boy's hair like the redhead had done to him so many times before.

Still, something wasn't quite right, but Allen couldn't quite put his finger on what exactly was wrong. Then it hit him.

He wasn't smiling.

There was no quirky twitch of the lips, no lopsided grin to brighten his face. His perfect lips were straight and set, refusing to betray any emotion. And it wasn't just his mouth either. There was no spark in his eye, no jaunty flicker of laughter that managed to make each day more bearable than the last. It was almost as if all the good things about Lavi were gone, leaving an empty shell to rest in his place. All the things that he lo-

Loved?

Did he love them? Allen thought back to every smile, every laugh, every mischievous glint he'd received from Lavi. At the mere memory, his heart swelled and his eye's pricked with tears. Would he ever get to see them again?

Finally, he turned back to the sleeping figure, a single tear making it's way down his cheek.

"Please Lavi. . ." he mumbled, resting his warm forehead against Lavi's cold skin. "Please come back."

* * *

Lenalee and Kanda had been waiting, unmoving, for at least ten minutes, an awkward silence growing between them.

Finally, Lenalee spoke up.

"Do you think they'll be all right?"

"They'll be fine." Kanda said in a bored voice, inspecting Mugen's blade.

His companion frowned.

"But Kanda, What if Allen-"

"Again with Allen!!" Kanda yelled suddenly. "Is he all you ever think about?!"

Lenalee jumped, blinking in surprise.

"Every time you open that goddamn mouth of yours it's always Allen, Allen, Allen." He hissed, glaring at her. "So shut up unless you have something interesting to say!"

The dark haired girl stared at him.

"K-Kanda. . ." she mumbled.

"What?" he snapped back.

She bit her lip, deciding not to pursue the topic. "Never mind."

She got to her feet, dusting off her skirt as she turned back to the door.

"Where are you going?" Kanda asked suspiciously.

"I'm going to check on them, coming?"

Kanda narrowed his eyes and turned away shifting so that his back was facing her.

She sighed and opened the door, slipping inside.

Kanda remained where he was.

_That stupid Allen,_ he thought,_ what's so great about him anyway? He's just a freak someone abandoned at birth. How come Lenalee's always talking about him?_

He ran his hand through his hair, working a few lose knots out of the silky blackness. _It's not like he has anything that I don't._

Suddenly, the door was thrown open, surprising Kanda and making him jump.

Lenalee stood in the doorway, fear in her violet eyes. She was visibly shaken, trembling slightly as she gripped the doorknob tightly.

"Lenalee?" Kanda asked curiously.

She whipped around at the sound of his voice, a tear escaping the corner of her eye.

"Lenalee!" Kanda said again, this time in alarm as he leapt to her side, holding her shaking shoulders. "what is it? What's wrong?"

"It's Allen. . ." she said in a shaky voice. "He- he won't wake up."

* * *

**Well, I hope it didn't suck too bad. I was desperate to make some progress.**

**I'm working on a new one that has been swirling around for a month called "4 o'clock boy". and it's hard to write for Alias when I'm uninspired.**

**I will finish it though! (given enough reviews puppy dog eyes even a simple "omg that sucked" is fine!)**

* * *


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